Wednesday, October 10, 2012

You Learn From Experience

This is a pretty random true story I thought of one night while thinking of Bobby’s mom, Frances (played by Rita Moreno).  As we all know, she was schizophrenic.  We saw many sides of her on the show:

Before I begin, I feel obligated to say some words about her.  Odd, right?  So, she actually really upset me.  I guess I should change that to present tense - she really upsets me - because she still does even though she’s long gone.  I’m speaking of Goren’s mother, of course, not the actress.  These feelings of hatred only occur because of the pain Bobby went though.  I felt, I feel so bad for Bobby.  Knowing he had to deal with her his whole life broke my heart.  I often speculate as to whether he felt like he was compelled to take care of her or if it was just second nature to him.  Bobby is so kind-hearted.  He’s such a great son that most of the time, he more than likely didn’t think twice about it, you know?  He probably wondered why this life, why did he end up with this life, but he never stopped caring for her.  Why?  Because it’s apparent that he’s the type of man that would take care of her no matter how much it fucked up his life.  And I have a feeling that was the main reason for him being single for so long (that and his job of course).  Then by the time she was gone, he probably thought why bother.

But I don't think anyone will argue with me that he had it rough and it messed with his psyche; even permanently screwed him up to a point.  It would affect anyone to some degree.  Look at what Nicole Wallace did to him when she brought it up. 

Simply put, his whole family was crap.

I had a lot more written, but I deleted it and decided to just move onto my point and story.  As always, feel free to add your thoughts and opinions about anything on this topic.  I welcome all comments.

One of my law professors a few years ago told me a story that I’ll probably never forget.  She’s the chief of police in a city here in Washington so I listened intently figuring she knew what she was doing.  I actually didn’t care for her too much, but I paid attention nonetheless.  She told us a story of something that happened early into her career as a police officer.  She heard a call through the radio late at night and promptly responded.  When she arrived on location, sure enough (just as the dispatcher had said), there was a man standing in a field of grass completely naked.

She was pretty new on the job and hadn't encountered anything like it before.  The boy (I believe she said he was in his mid-teens) just stood frozen, not once attempting to move or speak. 

...And then she yelled at him to lie down.  He turned and ran in the other direction.  Eventually she caught up to him, tackled him and then handcuffed him.

Later that night she spoke to the boys mother whom informed her that her son was schizophrenic and that's he'll do anything you ask as long as you don’t, yes you guessed it, yell or scream at him.  This is obviously some very useful information.  Now obviously she didn’t know he was schizophrenic at the time (I think she said she thought he was just some drunk kid), but it still helps to know what you’re dealing with and, more importantly, how to deal with it and even recognize the signs if such an instance occurs again.

There’s a lot of information on schizophrenics and I can’t help but think, god, the reading Bobby must have done.  He was so good and patient with his mother.  And sure he’s smart and, in his own words, “resourceful” (Siren Call), but I’m sure he did many long, hard hours of research.  Especially when he knew his mommy wasn’t like all the other mommy’s.  Oh, I’m just killing myself here with the quotes.

I’ve personally witnessed what schizophrenia can do to a person and how to handle them.  No, no one (including myself) in my family has it.  You can speculate all you want as to where I was.  I just remember I heard screaming and ran into this persons room just in time to witness her hitting herself.  I dealt with it as best as I could until someone more qualified came to the rescue.  At the time, I didn’t panic nor was I scared. But thinking back on that experience, damn, it's some crazy shit.  I've studied psychology for years and I knew at the time she was hearing voices that were telling her to hit herself.  The only thing I could really do was try to restrain her until someone else came.  Having to witness it for a short time period is one thing, but dealing with it your whole life, well, I couldn't imagine.

Just one more thing that makes Bobby amazing.